For some parents, "parent" is one of their identities. But for some parents, "parent" is a kind of "restraint". They take the identity of "parent" too seriously, even more than themselves.
This phenomenon is very common in China and other East Asian countries. This mentality usually comes from social pressure. In China's social environment, the requirements for parents are getting higher and higher. Many parents regard "raising successful children" as their own meaning. But society has not taught them how to let go and how to treat adult children as equals. The consequences are excessive control of children and suppression of self-personality, causing many parent-child conflicts.
A passage in the book "Dear Andreas" reflects this kind of parent-child relationship very well. A half-German son said to his Taiwanese mother: "Mom, the tone and way you talk to me, you still treat me as a fourteen-year-old child. You can't understand that I am a twenty-one-year-old adult. You give me I am free enough, yes, but do you know? When you give, you think it is your "authorization" or "giving". You don't think it is my natural right. No one can understand: your son is not your son, he is an 'other' completely independent of you!"
From the perspective of these parents, why does "love" cause conflict? From the perspective of adult children, they are not treated equally and respected. When did this identity relationship change? What is needed in such a relationship?
This project aims to supplement the lack of recognition from parents in society and try to help such parent-child relationships transform. The project will compare the role of "parent" to work in a humorous way, giving parents an "honorable retirement." While acknowledging their contribution, it also allows them to view their parental responsibilities in a relaxed way and think about "letting go". This project will also explore parent-child conflict and parent identity from multiple perspectives such as retirement time and identity.
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